It’s hard to believe that Ron Artest is capable of insensitivity, but it’s true. A Great Dane named Socks was rescued from his property after neighbors complained about the malnourished mutt, and records show that 4 of his dogs have spent a total of 77 nights in the local pound since July. Artest could actually face felony charges and up to $20,000 in fines.

This can hardly be considered surprising. If he’s too “tired” to even go to work because he’s been out promoting one of his recording acts, what makes anyone think he has the energy to fill a dog dish with dog food. I mean, you have to scoop the bowl into the bag! That’s a lot of effort!

• Sacramento Kings, Ron Artest, National Basketball Association - CBS SportsLine.com
• Philadelphia Inquirer | 02/09/2007 | NBA | Ron Artest’s dog-pound bill: $1,942
• Rotoworld.com: Artest dogging it for a while

The NFL draft has plenty of examples of players who refuse to sign with the team that drafts them…John Elway with the Colts, Eli Manning with the Chargers. It’s not often you see a player campaign for a team to draft him. It’s even rarer for that team to be the Cleveland Browns. In fact, without checking our sources, we’d say it’s safe to say that it has never happened.

What would make Troy Smith beg to play in Cleveland? The amazing pool of talent that would surround him? The strong offensive line that would protect him? Could it be that he’s just a fan of the warm colors which stylishly make up the Browns uniforms? Maybe it’s the undeniable appeal of being known as “the next Trent Dilfer.”

With Troy Smith hoping to bring the Browns to glory, and LeBron James already doing wonders for the Cavaliers, Cleveland fans will be asking excitedly - are we moving toward a sports renaissance in Cleveland? Will Cleveland become one of the premiere sports towns in the country? The answer, sadly, is no. We’re more likely to see a perfume renaissance in New Jersey.

• SI.com - NFL - Smith pushing Browns hard to draft him - Tuesday January 30, 2007 1:49PM
• Buckeyes star Smith pressing Browns to draft him - CBS SportsLine.com

Is it right to punish a man for doing what any of us would want to do? If any of us had been on the floor with Manu Ginobili, we’d want to punch him too. Ginobili ranks right up there with Scottie Pippen and Jason Williams as NBA ballers we’d love to take a shot at.

The elbow shot to Ginobili’s nose happened with 2.7 seconds left in the game. A cheap shot? Of course. Can we fault Kobe for doing it? No. This was a long time coming.

Of course, considering how much Ginobili flops, we’re not even sure that’s real blood. It’s probably ketchup. That’s pathetic - to be such a flopper that you’d smuggle ketchup packets onto the court to fake a bloody nose.

So kudos to you, Kobe Bryant, for doing what we’ve wanted to do for a long time now.

• Bryant suspended for striking Ginobili - NBA - MSNBC.com
• ESPN.com - NBA - Stunned Kobe asks for immediate appeal hearing

Latrell Sprewell’s former longtime girlfriend has filed a $200 million lawsuit against the former human noose NBA star for dumping her, apparently objecting to his calling their relationship “fake” and breaking a promise made in college to share his “life and fortune.” Now, we’ve all told women in college things that we probably regretted - but promising to share millions of dollars is a little different than promising get them backstage to meet Ted Leo & the Pharmacists.

You have to feel for this poor woman. How could she have seen this coming? Who would have thought Sprewell capable of physically assaulting another human being? Hiding when she tries to get money from him? Living on a yacht to avoid her? He’s like an NBA player and a rock star rolled into one convenient package. Maybe he should be fronting Van Halen.

And it takes a special kind of guy to dump five illegitimate kids on someone. It’s not Shawn Kemp impressive, but it’s impressive nonetheless.

• wcbstv.com - Longtime Girlfriend Sues Sprewell For $200 Million

The timing of this story confuses us; we can only assume they became interested when we all thought Vick was hiding weed in his water bottles…

The Raiders are preparing to make a run at Michael Vick, according to NFL sources. The Raiders package would include receivers Randy Moss and Jerry Porter plus the No.1 overall pick in the 2007 draft for Vick and the Falcons first round pick (10th overall).

Having traded their top two receivers to get him, one has to wonder who exactly Vick would be throwing to. Then again, it’s not like throwing to receivers has ever really been something he’s good at.

• SI.com - Scorecard Daily - NFL: January 22, 2007 - Monday January 22, 2007 9:37AM
• Michael Vick learns a thing or two from the terrorists (The Sports Dirt)

There is no offseason for the Bengals…at least when it comes to getting arrested. Corner Johnathan Joseph became the ninth Bengal arrested in the last 13 months when he was arrested. That’s right - nine in just over a year. The Bengals are the new Trailblazers.

Joseph was pulled out of a car cops saw weaving around, driven by an unidentified woman with a suspended license. Officers searched the car, and Joseph informed them he had marijuana and produced a black pouch with the Super Bowl logo on it.

We don’t know what’s more amusing - that the Bengals have had nine players arrested in thirteen months, or that, at this rate, this is the only way we’ll ever see “Bengals” and “Super Bowl” in the same article.

• Bengals CB Joseph Arrested on Pot Charge

The current wave of terrorism has taught us all a few things…how to improve airline security, how to watch for suspicious behavior…and it’s even taught Ron Mexico how to smuggle weed onto an airplane!

We can only imagine the lightbulb that went off in Mike’s head after it was discovered that would-be terrorists were attempting to sneak caustic liquids onto airplanes in regular shampoo and soda bottles. Why not create a secret compartment in a water bottle to hide dope?

One thing is for sure - this ingenius application of MacGyver-esque proportions sure beats the old-fashioned balloon-up-the-tailpipe method.

• SI.com - NFL - Vick water bottle may have contained marijuana - Thursday January 18, 2007 10:20AM
• Michael Vick allegedly possessed bottle with traces of marijuana
• Michael Vick’s water bottle raises suspicion at Miami airport: South Florida Sun-Sentinel

The 76ers continued to dismantle themselves, buying out perennial disappointment Chris Webber, who had somewhere in the neighborhood of $30 million+ remaining on his contract. It works out to about $250 per pathetic injury.

Webber says he would like to play in Detroit, San Antonio, or Miami, obviously chasing a ring he will not have earned and doesn’t deserve.

Frankly, we’re surprised to even hear Webber is still alive. Didn’t the University of Michigan eliminate him from this plane of existence a few years ago?

• NBA.com Report: Webber Accepts Buyout From 76ers

In one of the most shocking sports news items ever heard by human ears, it was reported that Barry Bonds failed an amphetamine test last season.

If you didn’t already think Barry Bonds was the biggest scumbag on the planet, this might have almost convinced you. If not, keep reading.

Bonds proceeded to blame the positive test on teammate Mark Sweeney, saying the substance was taken from Sweeney’s locker.

“I have no comment on that,” Bonds’ agent Jeff Borris told the Daily News on Wednesday night.

“Mark was made aware of the fact that his name had been brought up,” Sweeney’s agent Barry Axelrod told the Daily News. “But he did not give Barry Bonds anything, and there was nothing he could have given Barry Bonds.”

It’s good to know that Barry is willing to drag a teammate down with him and throw him under the bus like that. If he doesn’t win a humanitarian award for Bonds on Bonds, maybe this will do it for him.

• FOX Sports - MLB - Bonds reportedly failed amphetamine test

All fairy tales, it seems, must come to an end. Jason Kidd filed for divorce from wife Joumana, citing “extreme cruelty”. It turns out Joumana is quite possibly certifiably insane. Who would have thought?

According to the complaint, Joumana Kidd used the couple’s 8-year-old son on Dec. 27 to sneak into the Nets locker room and rummage through Jason Kidd’s locker to find his cell phone. After looking up the names and numbers on it, the complaint said she left her son to behind as she went upstairs to take a front row seat, where she shouted insults at Kidd throughout the game.

The papers accuse Joumana Kidd of kicking, hitting, punching and throwing household objects at her husband as she became “increasingly controlling and manipulative” in the last few years of their union.

According to Kidd, his wife had tracking devices installed on his cars and computers and has harassed his trainer, friends and family.

It has to be hard to put up with hecklers when your playing…but can you imagine being heckled by your own wife? And how is this going to affect his free throw shot, which features a blown kiss dedicated to her? If Jason & Joumana can’t make it work, what hope is there for Tony Parker and Eva Longoria? Can’t Doug and Jackie Christie step in and do something?!

The only thing that could make this all worse is if it’s discovered all those phone calls were made to Vince Carter.

• ESPN.com - NBA - Kidd files for divorce from ‘abusive’ wife