Ted Williams’s head is a hit

Ted Williams just can’t get a moment’s peace. A new book alleges that Williams’s head, which is cryogenically frozen, was crudely removed by untrained persons, bopped around like a baseball, and generally abused in several unspeakable ways.

In a 405-page book that hits stores today, Johnson, the company’s former chief operating officer, describes another Alcor employee allegedly whacking Williams’ head with a monkey wrench while trying to free it from its perch atop a BumbleBee tuna can.

READ MORE: Book: Cryonic lab abused Ted Williams’ head (Fannation)

ALSO: Alcor Sues Ex-Employee to Block Ted Williams Cryonics Expose? (Bloomberg)

ALSO: Ted Williams head hit? – Boston Herald

Posted in Boston Red Sox, MLB
October 2nd, 2009 by Admin | No Comments »

McGahee is a Raven getting his eyes pecked out for a change

The Baltimore Ravens accused certain Cleveland players of intentionally gouging the eyes of tailback Willis McGahee on two occasions in last Sunday’s 28-10 victory against the Browns.

The Ravens reported the incidents by sending tapes to the league office earlier this week.

“We talked to the league,” Ravens coach John Harbaugh said during his weekly news conference Wednesday. “We asked them for their opinion on what happened, and we’re waiting to hear back on it.”

Mom was right – you keep playing rough, and someone eventually gets their eyes poked out. Hopefully he has a good eye doctor, and hopefully he’s in Miami…we can’t imagine the women in Baltimore are any better than the ones in Buffalo.

Posted in NFL
September 26th, 2008 by Admin | No Comments »

Lions fire Matt Millen, Detroit to riot for joy?

Remember the end of Return of the Jedi when all of the creatures across the galaxy celebrated the destruction of the Emperor and the collapse of the Empire? That’s what it looks like in Detroit right now, except instead of Ewoks there are meth addicts missing limbs and instead of fireworks there’s actual gun fire.

An official with the Detroit Lions has confirmed that president Matt Millen has been fired as team president today.

There’s no way anyone outside of Detroit could comprehend the joy that Detroiters are feeling right now. Sure, Detroit is the most dangerous city to live in in all of America, but none of that matters now.Matt Millen is gone.

They could raise Hitler from the dead and give him the job and it wouldn’t matter.

Matt Millen is gone.

Posted in NFL
September 24th, 2008 by Admin | No Comments »

Al Harris having a spleen-ded season

The agent for Al Harris told several media outlets in Wisconsin on Monday that the Green Bay Packers cornerback suffered a torn spleen in Sunday night’s loss to the Dallas Cowboys and is likely out for the rest of the season.

Let it be known that Al Harris is hard core. How does a body part that – as far as most scientists are concerned doesn’t do anything – tear?

Posted in NFL
September 24th, 2008 by Admin | No Comments »

Suns tow Shaq Diesel into Phoenix

If the Western Conference wasn’t interesting enough, the Big Diesel is coming back. The Suns have acquired Shaquille O’Neal from the Heat in exchange for Shawn Marion and Marcus Banks.

Great move Phoenix! Hurry up and get back on those phones – you still have time before the trade deadline. Maybe you can trade Steve Nash for Brian Scalabrine. Or maybe you can cut Amare Stoudemire to clear a roster spot for Sam Bowie.

It’s hard to imagine a scenario in which Phoenix is improved by this trade. Let’s face it – Shaq is no longer Shaq, and even though Shawn Marion had asked for a trade, at least he had two functioning hips.

Posted in NBA
February 6th, 2008 by Admin | No Comments »